Why I’m Choosing Vulnerability over Strength
Do you ever feel tired of being the strong friend?
I used to take pride in wearing the “strong friend” crown. You know, the one who was known to power through any circumstance, regardless of its complexity? The one who always seemed to have things “figured out” and maintained that aura of strength regardless of the internal battles she may have been facing. The one who kept a smile on her face for any and everyone around her because she didn’t want to let those that she loved down. The one who always seemed to have her feet firmly planted as everyone else around her fell apart.
In hindsight, I’m not sure that I ever truly felt that I had things figured out. I just got really good at bearing/carrying my cross. I got good at hiding my scars and making the toughest moments seem like insignificant battles that would sort themselves out through time. I got really good at smiling and standing (firmly at that) through the bullshit.
I thank God that I don’t at all look like what I’ve gone or may be going through. It’s crazy how alone you can feel in the bleakest moments, regardless of the number of people you are surrounded by. Beyond the smiles, the laughter and all of the creativity are layers of uncertainty, vulnerability and sometimes pain that is not so easily seen or shared. These are the harsh truths involved with being the strong friend.
Overcoming Your Facade of Strength
From one strong friend to another; you have some pretty hard lessons to learn and you will need to start making better life decisions that bring you peace. Take it from me, I know all too well.
Some of the most liberating moments of my life began when I made the decision to let go of my facade of strength and stand vulnerably in my truth. For too long, I had been standing in my own way, not realizing that I had been blocking opportunities for my friends and family to be there for me when I needed it most. I had gotten so used to masking my mess that I inherently taught myself that I came second. That my thoughts, my feelings and my well-being were insignificant in the grander scheme of things when in fact, they should have been prioritized from the start.
A woman’s greatest strength is her facade of weakness, but a man’s greatest weakness is his facade of strength.Dr. Warren Farrell
If you take anything from this post, I want you to leave with this:
Vulnerability is strength, not a sign of weakness.
Whether you’ve gone through or are currently going through this phase of life, I want to let you know that you are seen. I challenge you to open up and stand vulnerably in your truth. Lend your strength as best you can but don’t forget to reach out and pull strength from others when it matters most. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay and to admit that amidst your strength, lies weakness. As much as you stand firm to support and pour into others, give those you love the same opportunities to pour into you.
Stand vulnerably in your truth. Lend your strength as best you can but don’t forget to reach out and pull strength from others when it matters most.
From one strong friend to the other.